still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
