absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
