she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
