I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
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I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
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Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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