i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
