Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Randomize
