just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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