Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
