I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
