I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
