if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
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