wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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