I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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