put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
vagina is talking i cant
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
