its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Shame - the story of my life.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
