I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Randomize
