Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(270): View more from Kentucky

I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something

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(883): View more from

I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet

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(360): View more from Washington

Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day

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(989): View more from Michigan

there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.

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(905): View more from Ontario

How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.

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(571): View more from Virginia

Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero

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(630): View more from Illinois

I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.

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(316): View more from Kansas

We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way

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