We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
