You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
