uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
