This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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