Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
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