I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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