so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
