Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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