he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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