this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize