i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
