dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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