R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm really busy with my period
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