well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
