let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
