You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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