remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
