I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
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You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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