think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I queefed so loud it echoed.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize