Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
