you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
