oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
vagina is talking i cant
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I made him laugh his dick is mine
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
