I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
