i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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