Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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