if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
