she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize
