Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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