apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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