if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
