just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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