Small penises have feelings too.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
