dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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