can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
