I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
