I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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