Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
