There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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