Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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