so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
