This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize