like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize