ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
