This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
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