I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
