She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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