My nipple is on Facebook.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
